Said Colon

Jun 27

Jesus, the Buddha, Muhammad, Moses, Confucius and Brahman have been teleported to the future. They are in Brooklyn, outside a mosque.
Muhammad to a young man about to enter the mosque: Alah Akbar Mother Fucker!
The man enters, ignoring him completely.
The Buddah to Muhammed: What was that?
Muhammed: What was what--
Muhammed to a young sister about to enter: Alah Akbar Mother Fucker!
The Buddah: That! What was that?
Muhammed: God is Great Mother Fucker.
Big-B: Why the Mother Fucker?
Muhammed: I'm trying to blend in.

Jun 26

R. Page and Ray are cruising through the mall, past hundreds of children and their families.
R. Page as he dodging left and right: I hate all of these breeders. uhhh. Revolting.
Ray: Your parents made you.
R. Page: My parents are disgusting.

Jun 25

Jesus and the apostles are all sitting in the desert in a circle around a fire.
Peter says: Okay so you have to explain it to me again.
Jesus, exhaling a cone of hashish smoke says: So I am both the father, the son and the holy spirit.
Peter: Wait, what?
Paul says: Pass the couscous.
JC: It's not supposed to make literal or rational sense. It's like a Buddhist kōan.
Peter: You're fucking high aren't you?
JC: Wasted.

Jun 24

Jesus, the Buddha, Muhammad, Moses, and Brahman are all sitting in the VIP room of the best nightclub in or outside the universe.
Jesus: Yo, M2, what's the deal with pork?
Muhammad: What about it?
Jesus: I mean, you really hate it. I got rid of that.
Muhammad: Filth. Unclean.
Moses: Unclean.
JC: Kind of ironic, don't you think? Out all the animals in all the kingdoms humanity is the most closely related to pigs.
Muhammad: You're making that up.
Jesus: It wouldn't be the first time.